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The art of leadership, and a reflection of my own (Part 2 of 3)

This is part 2 of a 3 part reflection/lessons learned from my time at the Art of Hosting conference in Karlskrona Sweden last month.  See Part 1

Who was a great leader in your life? Why did you want to follow that person? What characteristics/qualities did he or she have?

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think hard… who? A teacher? A boss? Your mom or dad?

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Margaret Wheatley, a leadership guru asked that question to us at the conference. Surprisingly, I (and the people around me) were really hardpressed to think of anyone.  Likely meaning, there aren’t too many great leaders out there.  Everyone has mistakes.  And, having been “the leader” myself, it’s freaking hard, and frankly, as a friend (who I’d also call a leader) told me later, pretty overrated. Think about it, as leaders, you’re quite often placed on a pedestal, ready to be shot down…

This post is a reflection on my own leadership style.

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I held a special task during the Art of Hosting conference. I was part of the “Meta-harvesting Team” – our job was to collect the important takeaways throughout each day and stream it back in the following day so that all could see the important thread that we were creating. The final job was to sum up the whole conference in meaningful ways that could be used later on.  This Prezi created by one creative girl on our team is just one example – beautiful:)

The job of harvesting is so important, yet really, quite difficult in practice as everyone is experiencing so much. Also, as a team, our group didn’t quite get off on the right start.  There was some confusion in what were doing (we didn’t collectively decide on our purpose) and consequently, found it really hard to come up with a strategy that worked.

Also, there was a question about leadership. In this group of leaders, who was going to lead?

I tend to lead often. Sometimes I want to, sometimes I don’t. This time I guess I just kind of fell into it.

I won’t explain the whole situation, but there was some tension in the group by the end of it. We were frustrated on the last night as we worked endlessly to come up with our final harvests.

On the last day, sensing the tension between me and one person in the group, I decided to “call-it” (part of the Art of sensing the room).  She, thankfully, was honest enough with herself, and me, to not just let it slip. She took a deep breath and told me flat out that she had a problem with my leadership style. First of all, ouch… Second of all, I said, “let’s talk”. I knew myself well enough that this was a needed conversation and that I should take in as much as possible to learn from my mistakes.

Now, I should say that some people in the group were really happy with my leadership style and complimented and thanked me for jumping in to take the lead. So, don’t read this and think I’m an awful leader… But most definitely, like everyone,  I have room for improvement.

But, going back to my conversation with my teammate who confronted me, the result was an hour and half long conversation that mattered.

I found out a few things about myself that I knew, but that I hadn’t quite brought to the surface.

–         LET GO.

  • I don’t always let go of my ideas. Won’t lie, I have some pretty awesome ideas 🙂  but, I all too often share them with people, without the intention of changing it. Problemo # uno.)
  • This would make sense why I sometimes end up working alone when I start on projects (never a good feeling)
  • I need to let go of my ideas so that others can join in, take ownership in it and give it the space to grow and become an even greater idea.

–         PURPOSE

  • Sometimes I can get excited about a vision and just start acting – without understanding the purpose myself and without portraying it clearly to others.
  • I can speed off into the distance – and leave others just watching me run, for no apparent reason. (Pretty funny visual, but have been told this analogy before by different people…so obviously something there)
  • I need to understand where others are – what’s driving them so that I can understand their purpose.
  • I need to just chill sometimes in the moment – gain a better understanding of the purpose for me and others – and from there, I can start moving towards a goal – with others.

–         TRUST

  • Goes with the first one. I need to trust that the people I work with are intelligent people that know what they’re doing. I don’t need to repeat myself with hopes that they get my idea.

–         BREATHE

  • Just relax… I can get so anxious about what I want to accomplish in life. (Like many twenty-something year olds that I know). I forget to just breathe, and remember, that “it’s just life!”
  • It’s the journey, not the destination…

So, there you have it.  A very open, honest, harvest on my own leadership skills.

I said in Part 1 that I left the conference not feeling the renewed sense of passion like most people. This is one of the reasons why.

I left feeling confused and vulnerable…

All said and done though, I think the confrontation, so to speak, was a great experience for me. I have had lots of great feedback in my life – so many encouragements from people that I greatly admire. I’m blessed to have had lots of wonderful conversations with people telling me “not to worry so much” that “I’ll go far”… it was about time that someone gave me an honest check. It was well called for.

We ended our confrontation with a giant hug and a deeper feeling of connection. You know who you are, but thank you.  😉

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Margaret Wheatley’s talk was on the art of collaborative leadership not heroic leadership.

I learned am learning that to become a collaborative leader is a challenge (I still catch myself in my old ways sometimes…), but it is truly the best approach for moving our society onto a sustainable path.

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Serious news. MTV is changing its tune & The Buried Life is surfacing

Wow. Just wow.

I wrote my plea for MTV last year.

You have incredible powers to make change happen. To tell people to give a damn.  To make people feel. To instill better values as a society.

Please, use your power and creativity to smarten up our generation… not dumb us down.

And now…

From the NYT FRONT PAGE,

“Meet MTV for the era of Obama. After years of celebrating wealth, celebrity and the vapid excesses of youth, MTV is trying to gloss its escapist entertainment with a veneer of positive social messages.

And who’s going to be the flagship show?

The Buried Life.

These four guys “travel the globe in a purple transit bus to complete a list of ‘100 things to do before you die’ and to help and encourage others to go after their own lists.” I’ve watched some of their episodes online as my close friend here is good friends with the guys from his days at McGill.  Extremely cool and moving.

I’ve said this before, but many people (especially in MTV’s target age category) are stuck in a rut.

“What to do with my life?” “Where do I fit?” “Is this it?”

I just had 2 friends tell me they were living the quarterlife crisis.  Not for all cases, but MTV’s escapism efforts into the land of riches, bitches and idolizing the materialistic and shallow lifestyles has surely only exasperated the movement of “feeling nothing”.

I don’t expect MTV to completely shift overnight and they won’t, but I welcome this moral & strategic shift like a breath of fresh spring air:)

For all those (no matter what age) wonder “is this it?”  Stay tuned for the Buried Life airing (tentatively) on MTV on July 20th worldwide. And, while waiting, take a look at their website and why not start your own list… Makes me realize, why I haven’t made one yet? Note to self, start one today:)

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Recycling coffee cups

Last year one of my first posts was about Tim Hortons not recycling their cups and the general questions surrounding the issue of what’s recyclable and what’s not? (posted a few on that topic.) That question is still pertinent and should probably write a new one soon regarding the Finnish waste management systems… incredibly interesting – everyone sorts their biowaste – at home and at school!

But, back to good ol’ Timmy’s…

from timhortons.com
from timhortons.com

(Tim Hortons for those fellow int’ls is a huge Canadian coffee/doughnut shop – it holds 62% of the Canadian coffee market (compared to Starbucks, in the number two position, at 7%) My post last year was in reference to the garbage accumulated from these cups… the CBC reported (last year) that the cups accounted for 22% of all the litter in Nova Scotia (one province in Canada).

So…

Interesting read in the Globe about how Toronto is now accepting the cups:) Love it. Hope this expands to more cities.

As for me… I’ve been upset with myself for not buying a good thermos for a while now and instead of going for the daily coffee then back to the office, I bought instant fair trade… taste is likely down.. environment & cost savings up. We’ll see how this goes.

Personal updates…

Have been extremely busy as of late…

Working with a startup here in Finland (renewable energies in developing markets), Growth Venturing Group (a group at my University working with startups, but kind of like a startup in itself), finishing my degree by Christmas and planning many work related (and some fun) trips…

More “life adventures” ahead..

For starters, will be going to San Francisco next week for 1 week to check out the Center of Entrepreneurship and Technology.

Will post some more “life” posts soon, but for now, back to the daily (coffee) grind.

Ok, that was a cheesy ending. Apologies;)

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